By Paula Kavolius
As I sit back in my comfy chair, recuperating from arthroscopic knee surgery, I began thinking about the setbacks in my life. There are too many to list and I wouldn’t want to depress anyone, so I will refrain from enumerating them all. However, I can honestly tell you that the setbacks of my life have altered my life in ways that I could not have envisioned before.
Henry Ford said, “Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”
My first setback was in 7th grade when I didn’t make the cheerleading squad. When I tried out for the team my fly was down, the judges all laughed, and I ran off the stage in tears. As a shy 13 year old girl, I am sure that you can imagine how devastating this was for me. My family turned it into a giant laugh and I decided I would rather play a sport than cheer so I joined the basketball team. I learned more about life by being a part of that basketball team than from any other club or team I have ever participated.
Another setback was when I didn’t make the tennis team at Boston College.
I truly believed that I played better than a few of the girls who made the team. This rejection turned me to a new sport, golf, which is one that I hope to do until the day I die. From this disappointment, I began to learn that life isn’t always fair and that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Either way – you move on.
Another setback was when our 3rd son Timmy was born. I was crushed the day we learned that Timmy would have significant disabilities, Although he was, and still is, the love of my life, this news was an enormous hit that day.
What I didn’t know then was that Timmy would bring me closer to God and he would show me how to love each and every special individual that I have had the privilege of knowing. Timmy has taught me empathy, compassion, perseverance, courage, kindness and to look out for the underdog. No university on this planet could have taught me better than Timmy about all these amazing traits.
My time with my toes up has afforded me an opportunity to reflect on just about everything. The darkest moments were the times that I was fearful about my future. Would this knee surgery be successful? What would I do next if it didn’t work? Would I have knee problems for the rest of my life? You name it, I worried about it. It reminded me of the early days with Timmy. Would he walk, would he talk, would he play sports, etc. One day, I read my new favorite quote, “Fear knocked, faith answered - no one was there.” I made a decision that day to stop living in fear and press on boldly and courageously.
When I got the green light to drive, I raced out to do an errand. It was like I had hit the lottery. I still had my crutches, but I was free. My inability to move around easily hit me hard this time. I thought of beautiful Evelyn who struggles every day with her crutches and wheelchair. I thought of amazing Alex, who practically sprints the second you get her in her walking strap. They are my heroes and both of them deserve a standing ovation from all of us for each and every week that they are on this earth.
The next few weeks were slow going. I got off one crutch and sometimes used a cane. The ironic part was that everywhere I went people were unbelievably nice to me. One person carried my pizza to my car at the Town Spa. Another person carried a case of water out to my car at CVS and placed it in my trunk. You may be thinking, what in the world were you doing trying to carry a pizza and a case of water with crutches? I will answer you with this – I have never known my limits and will continue to test them every day of my life. Other people held doors, smiled at me, and if you can believe this they actually asked how I was doing.
It started me thinking—I wonder if life is more difficult yet more beautiful when you have challenges. I wonder if God showers you with more blessings than your hands can hold. I wonder if your friends are truer and your relationships richer and your days happier. Never once did I think about all the things I had to do that day. All I could focus on was what was right in front of me. How was I going to get the door open and get that tasty pizza to my front seat? I never thought about the amount of money in my checking account. I only thought about how thankful I was that my knee was repaired and that I had a job that I not only loved but also was put on this earth to do.
Ye s, I do believe setbacks are a sign that something is about to change and this time it was inside of me.
“Happiness is an inside job” – William Arthur